To Do

Completed March 2000 and August 2004

I’ve had my palm read twice now. Once by Mrs. West in Virginia Beach and once by Ayala Varona in Venice Beach.

Mrs. West read my palm one year after I’d separated from my childhood sweetheart, Nathan, when I was still lost and drifting and looking for something to do with my life. I was finding it hard to muster up much energy to attempt anything because everything felt like sloppy seconds – no matter what it was, it was the thing I was doing because I didn’t get what I really wanted. Plan A had failed. With no other prospects, I was planning to move to Los Angeles with my good friend Snappy.

Mrs. West looked at my palms and told me that I would have two children. She knew, without me telling her, that I was recovering from a heartbreak and that I was planning a big move with a close friend. She said that the move to California was what I needed, that it would be successful, and that I should go even if Snappy decided not to. She said that she saw something outside of my control, and outside of Nathan’s, holding the two of us apart, which was so heartbreakingly true, tears came to my eyes. She saw that I still loved him. At that time, I thought I always would, but time has faded the hurt and pain. She told me that I was stubborn, and that I could turn that into a positive if I would learn to be more independent. She told me that my life would be long, that I had a good family, and that the money problems I was having at the time would be behind me soon.

She finished by telling me that the man I was supposed to marry was in California, and that I would marry him within two years. That might be the only thing she told me that didn’t end up being true, but then again, I didn’t take her advice when Snappy backed out of the California trip at the last minute. I delayed my plans and waited three more years before moving to California.

In August 2004, a year after I’d finally made Los Angeles my home, I went to see the magical Ayala Varona. She too immediately told me that I was stubborn, but I think by that time I’d learned to use it to be independent. She told me that I had suffered a big heartbreak that had changed me – before the heartbreak, I made decisions with my heart, but now I made decisions with my head, and left my heart out of it to protect it. Then she made her predictions for the future. She told me that I would have an affair with a younger man who would love me more than I loved him. She told me that I would be very successful – that I would have an idea and that I would use the talents of other people to see it through to its fruition.

At the time, lonely and still adrift and finding my place, the predictions seemed laughable. But the magnetic and mystic Ayala Varona stated these things as though they were absolute facts – she already believed in them, and that gave me some hope. As it turns out, I did have an affair with a younger man who loved me more than I loved him. He still contacts me from time to time to see how I’m doing. I’m still working on the ‘very’ successful part, but I’ve got a plan in the works that I’m really excited about…and yes, I’ll be using the talents of others to see it through.